No worries. I didn’t go nuts. Yet. If you can't get the question out of your head why a well-mannered lady of a slightly conservative style writes about gay porn, you're asking the right question.
I can assure you the reasons are not clickbait strategies, midlife crises, estrogen slumps, or obsessive sexual fantasies from unfulfilled teenage years. Although it's nice that a victim of a conservative culture like me has to write these lines before I can even continue writing. I'm already laughing like an idiot, and I haven't explained anything to you yet.
If you are familiar with the classic of American children's literature, an illustrated children's graphic novel series by American author and illustrator Dav Pilkey, then you may understand me more easily. It's called Captain Underpants, and I remember how when my daughter read it in third grade in Canada, it was accompanied by bursts of laughter. Dave Pilkey was an elementary school teacher, and he was prompted to write the most popular children's comic book by a bizarre fact from his life as a teacher. He noticed whenever he said the word UNDERPANTS in front of third-grade children, they burst into uncontrolled, animalistic laughter. He could repeat it all he wanted, and the reaction was the same every time. As soon as he said the word underpants, the class roared.
If you have children, you surely know that in certain years there are similar reaction if you try to burp loudly, if you fart or pronounce the word fart, and finally the word sex comes into play. It's as if there was always a need for a quick, shocking break of all the taboos that children gradually acquire thanks to the surrounding culture. Little by little, they begin to understand that there is a forbidden stuff. And their mouth starts always itching with the temptation to break the taboo.
And now to the gay porn. This is what you’re waiting for, right?
When I was still living in Vancouver, BC, I witnessed a remarkable event during the Covid crisis. In Alberta, several businesmen and proffesional activists connected to American pseudo-conservative money decided to repeat the successful astroturfing project of 2019. Yes, I'm talking about the "famous" convoy that pretended to be angry Canadians and turned out to be a failed coup in the Pinochet style. If I remember correctly, it was for Roger Stone and Roy Cohn who assisted Kissinger with advice on how to use trucks to cause a food blockade and the fall of the Allende government. Read here more in my article on 7 media myths around the convoy.
Their recycled recipe for a border blockade is now circulating around the globe, spreading from Canada to Europe, and is currently being successfully applied as a "blockade of the Ukrainian goods at the border" in Poland, Hungary and elsewhere. The Russians are not bothered by the fact that their authorship sticks out like straw from their medieval shoes. Apart from the word freedom, the word shame is one of those wonderful concepts whose translation into Russian exists, but the content is missing.
In Canada, a mob of yoga mothers, anti-vaxxers, Ram car owners, and people frustrated for about 50 different reasons tried under the influence of internet memes to suffocate the capital Ottawa, and cut off supplies. In addition, the press hardly noticed that it was not only a blockade of the border near Ottawa, where the most important transport artery for the exchange of goods with America is located, but also at Coutts on the West Coast, with a similar road.
But the wet dream of gaining influence over Canadian oil executed by the Russian-American billionaire rabble was shattered in a matter of days, when the Canadian government restored order and the rebels' morale began to decline.
And here we go with gay porn.
Guess what happened. Canadian citizens of a younger date of birth, fed up with the stench of cars in Ottawa and the constant honking of their car horns, put together an incredible subversive activity. If you want, you can read a number of comments about the course of the event from Noelle's Twitter account. These young Canadians with a sense of humor decided to infiltrate the Internet chats on Telegram, Zello and other channels where the wannabe coup organizers convened and organized.
They dutifully recorded every sigh of the participants and noticed for what nonsensical reasons people often came, what a propaganda stew they have in their brain buckets and also a lot of classic memes of the American far-right about replacement theory, rotten elites, pedophiles, conspiracy of the deep state, yada yada yada.
At the most unexpected moment, they started playing a famous song by a Canadian gay rocker called Ram Ranch. Grant MacDonald, a Toronto resident, wrote Ram Ranch a decade ago as a protest. It’s a nearly seven-minute metallic explosion of electric guitar and drums, over which he speaks/shouts the heavy porn lyrics, beginning with “Eighteen naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch!” The music is good, but I have to admit that listening to the lyrics evokes the same reaction in me as when you say the word "underpants" in the third grade. I always have a strike of laughter that leaves me unable to concentrate on anything. My head shuts down for a moment. The Brain is off. It’s so funny! If I ever write a book on anti-memetics, this will be its first chapter.
I probably won't be far from the truth when I say that one of the reasons why the Canadian convoy with its laboriously prepared agenda fell apart was this Grant MacDonald song. Be careful when you play it, chase away the kids and teenagers and pour yourself a shot. And then laugh with me in the underpants mood.
Right now, these same people are planning a convoy in Texas to distract the U.S. government, just as they wanted to seize the Canadian government. And I wonder: How about entertaining them a little? Texas resistance, get ready!
Have a wonderful day and consider a paid subscription, guys. See you in the funny papers!
The entire history of the song is here
about
Alex Alvarova is Czech-Canadian author and communication expert, who lives in Boston, MA. A recognized authority in political marketing and public relations, a sought-after seminar leader, facilitator, podcaster and public speaker. In 2017 she wrote The Industry of Lies, a non-fiction work that introduces, outlines and fully supports a core concept: Russia used the 2013 presidential election in the Czech Republic as a trial run to perfect its hybrid-warfare aggression for altering the outcome of the 2016 US Presidential elections. In 2021, she published Feeding The Demons: The conquerors of America, a political thriller on behavioral propaganda. She wrote numerous expert articles on political marketing and algorithmic propaganda. Together with her co-host, expert on social media algorithms, Josef Holy, she hosts a czech podcast called Canaries In The Net, on algorithmic propaganda and AI.
Eighteen naked cowboys